Matthew 16:21-23 From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life. Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!” Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”

Matthew 16 tells us a story where Jesus has a conflict with Peter which he addresses wisely. This was a serious issue; far more serious than a casual reader would understand at first glance. The reason it was so serious was that one of the major purposes of Jesus' coming to earth was to take our sins and sacrifice himself to pay the penalty for our sins so that we could be reconnected to our Creator, and here was Peter, who Jesus had big plans for, opposing this mission and standing directly in His way. Peter could have easily pushed the issue and persuaded other disciples to also dissuade Jesus from doing the very thing mankind so desperately needed. This was a major conflict, and a turning point in Peter's life, that could have easily blown up into something very destructive if Jesus had not quickly and wisely handled it. Jesus' resolution and diffusing of a tense situation holds many lessons for how we too can resolve conflict quickly and wisely. Here are three of those lessons we can practically apply to our daily lives.

When Jesus spoke up and confronted the issue, he didn't try to get the other disciples on his side or pit them against Peter. He simply addressed the issue with great focus from a wise angle. Jesus didn't drag the issue out or prolong the conflict over weeks and months... it was done within a very short time (in under a minute) and everyone involved was able to move along with the primary mission. The lesson for us is that we too can and should be direct in dealing with conflict quickly and not ignoring it or making it something bigger than it needs to be. This means we can be intentional about not creating unnecessary drama or pitting people against one another by pressuring them to take sides.

Jesus didn't beat around the bush or use ambiguous language that would be hard to understand. He was direct and to the point. He chose the clearest possible language. He let Peter know how he felt and what he thought in a short phrase. And despite how the rebuke sounds, it was not done out of anger, and Jesus was not calling Peter Satan. He only referred to the idea that when we have in mind earthly things over spiritual things, we take on an anti-Christ mindset that is opposed to eternal things. Peter would have understood this, which is expressed in how he didn't continue to argue. We too can choose language that is clear, concise, and truthful, not attempting to confuse or belittle, but using our words as a tool of healing and resolution.

Jesus knew that the purpose of resolving this conflict was so that everyone would once again be in unity and able to get back to the mission and purpose they were called to; to share the gospel with the world. In the same way, our goal in conflict resolution should not be to simply win an argument, lash out in anger, or make someone look or feel stupid. The goal of resolution is to end the conflict and get back as quickly as possible to a state of healthy growth and movement, whether that is among friends, family, or even co-workers. Conflict can often become a distraction and a paralyzing agent that grinds healthy movement to a halt. Healthy resolution is solving that problem as quickly and wisely as possible (without ignoring it) so that positive movement can happen once again.

How can you be more like Jesus – direct in your focus, language, and motivation – to become more adept at handling conflict?