HONORING THE COVENANT OF MARRIAGE WHILE DATING
KEY POINTS
- A critical aspect of dating by God’s standard is that we don't act like we are married when we are not.
- It is the role of each person in a relationship to protect the innocence of the other.
- We can show honor to the covenant of marriage is to live above reproach or question.
The covenant of marriage is very important to God. God has outlined in scripture what marriage is (Gen 2:24), what it symbolizes (John 17:20-23), why it is important (Eph 5:31-32), and how each of us can hold marriage in a place of honor. (Heb 13:4) This honoring is important, even for people who aren't yet married. These three important decisions matter:
1. People can choose to honor or dishonor God in dating.
2. People can choose to honor or dishonor the other person they are dating.
3. People can choose to honor or dishonor themselves in dating.
A critical aspect of dating by God’s standard is that we don't act like we are married when we are not. This is a counterfeit covenant, and it is dishonoring to the true covenant of marriage for us to engage in things reserved for marriage when we are not married. Not in how we speak, how we act, and how we treat the person we are dating. A person may think they are honoring the covenant of marriage simply by not sleeping with the person they are dating. However, at the same time, if they are allowing a flood of impure thoughts they shouldn't be or possibly crossing other sexual lines, there is no honor present in that. This can even be true in crossing other boundaries of excessive time spent together, unhealthy connections or dependency, or putting the relationship above all other things. Even though they are not sleeping together, a dating couple can still be dishonoring to God, the other person, and themselves. Honoring God is not simply found in our actions, but it begins in our hearts and minds.
It is the role of each person in a relationship to protect the innocence of the other. Often, dating can lead people to do the opposite of this. We can make excuses like declaring our true love for the other person or the inability to fight against our natural sexual desires, but the truth is that we can and should fight against temptation and fight to be in a relationship that God can bless. We can honor God by not dwelling on impure or lustful thoughts. We honor the person we are dating by not putting them in compromising situations where they might feel pressured to cross over lines of purity or emotional attachment. Our role is to help others stay pure and holy before God, not hinder that. We can choose to remove temptation and strengthen another's resolve, or we can work to present temptation and weaken another's resolve...that choice is up to us. We can even honor ourselves and the person God made us to be by not choosing to dwell on impure thoughts. Instead, we choose to honor God by dwelling on whatever is right, pure, and admirable. (Phil 4:8)
One final way we can show honor to the covenant of marriage is to live above reproach or question. This means that we live and date in a way that shows we respect each other, work to protect each other's innocence and choose not to put the other person in tempting or awkward situations by employing wise boundaries. Someone from the outside, observing your relationship, should be able to look at you and see you both as an example of how to date in a God-honoring way and how to correctly treat one another (both in public and in private).
1. People can choose to honor or dishonor God in dating.
2. People can choose to honor or dishonor the other person they are dating.
3. People can choose to honor or dishonor themselves in dating.
A critical aspect of dating by God’s standard is that we don't act like we are married when we are not. This is a counterfeit covenant, and it is dishonoring to the true covenant of marriage for us to engage in things reserved for marriage when we are not married. Not in how we speak, how we act, and how we treat the person we are dating. A person may think they are honoring the covenant of marriage simply by not sleeping with the person they are dating. However, at the same time, if they are allowing a flood of impure thoughts they shouldn't be or possibly crossing other sexual lines, there is no honor present in that. This can even be true in crossing other boundaries of excessive time spent together, unhealthy connections or dependency, or putting the relationship above all other things. Even though they are not sleeping together, a dating couple can still be dishonoring to God, the other person, and themselves. Honoring God is not simply found in our actions, but it begins in our hearts and minds.
It is the role of each person in a relationship to protect the innocence of the other. Often, dating can lead people to do the opposite of this. We can make excuses like declaring our true love for the other person or the inability to fight against our natural sexual desires, but the truth is that we can and should fight against temptation and fight to be in a relationship that God can bless. We can honor God by not dwelling on impure or lustful thoughts. We honor the person we are dating by not putting them in compromising situations where they might feel pressured to cross over lines of purity or emotional attachment. Our role is to help others stay pure and holy before God, not hinder that. We can choose to remove temptation and strengthen another's resolve, or we can work to present temptation and weaken another's resolve...that choice is up to us. We can even honor ourselves and the person God made us to be by not choosing to dwell on impure thoughts. Instead, we choose to honor God by dwelling on whatever is right, pure, and admirable. (Phil 4:8)
One final way we can show honor to the covenant of marriage is to live above reproach or question. This means that we live and date in a way that shows we respect each other, work to protect each other's innocence and choose not to put the other person in tempting or awkward situations by employing wise boundaries. Someone from the outside, observing your relationship, should be able to look at you and see you both as an example of how to date in a God-honoring way and how to correctly treat one another (both in public and in private).
BIBLICAL REFERENCES
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— 23 I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. John 17:20-23
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4
TRUE NORTH COLLEGE COURSE
Marriage and the Family | Practical Theology 255
A biblical study of the institution of marriage with a focus on marriage roles. Special attention will be given to understanding family dynamics and applying authority and responsibility in parenting. Special emphasis will be put on the importance of our words in fostering healthy relationships.