03/10
The Problem of Isolation
”Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
“A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.”
Psalm 68:5-6
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
“A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.”
Psalm 68:5-6
In the previous devotional, we touched on the idea that people who experience hurt will often pull away from relationships in their lives. While there may be relationships you should pull away from; abusive relationships, co-dependent relationships, narcissistic people, and toxic and unhealthy relationships that pull you away from God's will for your life, there are also many strong and healthy relationships that you should keep a part of your life.
Though relationships may be the source of pain or hurt, they are also the source of healing and wholeness as well, so we need to be careful not to throw away or walk away from all relationships to a place of isolation. This self-isolation often happens because we wrongly assume that if we isolate ourselves from being relationally vulnerable, we are preventing ourselves from getting hurt, offended, betrayed, disappointed, or abused again. But we soon learn that loneliness and isolation lead to a pain all of its own. The truth is, when we pull away and lick our wounds, we are only hurting ourselves even more because this will lead to isolation, loneliness, depression, shame and a host of far worse issues that will continue to spiral you away from the help and healing you so desperately want. When we pull away from all relationships, while we may assume we are doing the right thing, we are actually working against true spiritual healing. The Devil wants you separated, alone, and isolated. Scripture tells us that the Devil is like a roaring lion, always seeking to devour, and the ones he looks for most often are those who are in a weakened state, alone, isolated, confused, and possibly even wounded.
The practical advice is simple. Reach out. Text a trusted friend. Make a phone call. Schedule a conversation. The risk is worth the reward. Be vulnerable. Get around good people. Attend church. Get connected into a Crew. Reach out to a Christian counselor. Use what resources are available to you. You are already on the right path even by starting this track. While this is a great resource, you also need to move out of just the digital and printed world into real personable relationships with real like-minded people who want what is best for you and will help to stretch you, encourage you, equip you, and help you grow stronger and healthier in every aspect of your life.
Always remember this, loneliness is the result of isolation and isolation is always a choice. It is no one else's responsibility to get good friends and healthy relationships for you. You have to be the one to step out and move into healthier circles. Isolation isn't just about physical proximity. Even in a crowded room, we can isolate ourselves. We put up walls, then wonder why we feel lonely and so out of touch. It doesn't have to be this way. God did not design or desire for you to live isolated and alone. You were made to be in a community, in a relationship, and knowing that you are better together.
All our relationships (like every other area of our life) require regular evaluation, pruning, and strengthening, but don't use that as an excuse to cut all people out of your life. Having healthy relationships, the right relationships, will always bring greater levels of confidence, peace, wisdom, and joy into your life, and this is what God wants for you. This doesn't happen automatically or by default without a step of faith on our part. We need one another to stir up love and good works, to encourage and find joy, unity, and a common purpose.
Though relationships may be the source of pain or hurt, they are also the source of healing and wholeness as well, so we need to be careful not to throw away or walk away from all relationships to a place of isolation. This self-isolation often happens because we wrongly assume that if we isolate ourselves from being relationally vulnerable, we are preventing ourselves from getting hurt, offended, betrayed, disappointed, or abused again. But we soon learn that loneliness and isolation lead to a pain all of its own. The truth is, when we pull away and lick our wounds, we are only hurting ourselves even more because this will lead to isolation, loneliness, depression, shame and a host of far worse issues that will continue to spiral you away from the help and healing you so desperately want. When we pull away from all relationships, while we may assume we are doing the right thing, we are actually working against true spiritual healing. The Devil wants you separated, alone, and isolated. Scripture tells us that the Devil is like a roaring lion, always seeking to devour, and the ones he looks for most often are those who are in a weakened state, alone, isolated, confused, and possibly even wounded.
The practical advice is simple. Reach out. Text a trusted friend. Make a phone call. Schedule a conversation. The risk is worth the reward. Be vulnerable. Get around good people. Attend church. Get connected into a Crew. Reach out to a Christian counselor. Use what resources are available to you. You are already on the right path even by starting this track. While this is a great resource, you also need to move out of just the digital and printed world into real personable relationships with real like-minded people who want what is best for you and will help to stretch you, encourage you, equip you, and help you grow stronger and healthier in every aspect of your life.
Always remember this, loneliness is the result of isolation and isolation is always a choice. It is no one else's responsibility to get good friends and healthy relationships for you. You have to be the one to step out and move into healthier circles. Isolation isn't just about physical proximity. Even in a crowded room, we can isolate ourselves. We put up walls, then wonder why we feel lonely and so out of touch. It doesn't have to be this way. God did not design or desire for you to live isolated and alone. You were made to be in a community, in a relationship, and knowing that you are better together.
All our relationships (like every other area of our life) require regular evaluation, pruning, and strengthening, but don't use that as an excuse to cut all people out of your life. Having healthy relationships, the right relationships, will always bring greater levels of confidence, peace, wisdom, and joy into your life, and this is what God wants for you. This doesn't happen automatically or by default without a step of faith on our part. We need one another to stir up love and good works, to encourage and find joy, unity, and a common purpose.